Junk Faxes - I hate 'em! Do you?

I've been on the receiving end of a veritable flood of junk faxes over the last couple of weeks. There seems to be no pattern to the increase. They come from all across the spectrum of business and non-profit entities so I can't pin it on some upcoming event. It really, really pisses me off that I'm paying for these bozos to print their ads on MY EQUIPMENT! They should be paying ME to do that.

There are laws regarding junk faxing, specifically the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (47 U.S.C. section 227) and the Junk Fax Prevention Act (47 C.F.R. section 64.1200). The FCC has a web site for submitting complaints but I bet complaints get acted on faster if sent via the mail because the paper lands on someone's desk and nobody wants a desk piled full of paper. :)

I thought up a better way to deal with it, though. I filed for another business license with the state. I am now doing business as "Anger Management Ad Consultant Group". I can now assume that [nearly] every advertisement printed by my fax machine is a binding commercial contract for my services of review and commentary. I can safely make this assumption because very, very few of the advertisements I receive via fax come from entities with whom I already have an establish business relationship (as defined in 47 CFR 64.1200). Therefore, I can essentially force them to pay for my consultation service or face the legal consequences of violating the Acts and dealing with my potential civil lawsuit(s).

All I have to do is send a reply fax thanking them for initiating a business relationship with me (legally establishing that such relationship did not previously exist) and informing them that I will send my written review and bill in some sort of reasonable amount of time, like 30 days. Of course, I also have to follow through. I need to send them - within the time I specified - a written review of their advertisement and an invoice for my services.

No problem! I can whip up a review template in a matter of minutes and then it's just fill-in-the-blanks for every review I perform. Then I can create an invoice for any amount I choose - $500 is the federal "minimum" for considering it a felony to steal another's property or services - and send the whole thing to the offending advertiser via US First Class Mail, Registered, Return Receipt (this establishes that the party did, in fact, receive the service rendered AND the bill, should it ever come up in court).

Now, I can just wait for the check! :) Should the check fail to arrive within the time period stated on the invoice (probably 30 days), I can then send a follow-up statement (invoice) with an additional late fee. I can continue to do this ad infinitum, but it eventually will get expensive with all those Registered mailings. When a bill is 120 days past due, I can then send the whole thing to a collections agency and report the offending advertiser to the credit bureaus. Hah!